ok i know im really bad with keeping up with this..but anyone and everyone that cares about my life talks to me so its fine..



..unless your name is Mr. Li and you told me you were gonna call me back...





....and you never did.



but its ok. i still love mr. li...hes not in trouble...yet. 0=D

so this is whats been going on in my life..


ive been doing some thinking. some good. some not so good.

i know what its like to be the last one picked.
i know what its like to be an object to someone.
i know what its like to be forgotten.
i know what its like to just not be in existance to the rest of the world.
i know what its like to be used.
i know what its like to be left behind.

funny how this is all from the last lil while.

but i also know what it feels like to laugh. to smile. to be cherished. to be loved. to be important. to make a difference.

some ppl are worried. others dont know and maybe just dont care.. its fine. im fine. just leave it. if it hasnt gone away yet..chances are it never will.

i just wanna say thank you to all of you who have tried and have fought alongside me, and sometimes just fought it for me, when i thought i couldnt fight anymore.

thank you for taking the courage to do the hard thing in hopes that i'd be better.
thank you for being an amazing person who watches out for me.
thank you for being the angel on my shoulder.
thank you for taking care of me when i couldnt.
thank you for being the shoulder that i cried on, and i still do.
thank you for refusing to stop being my friend, even when i told you to go.
thank you for just being there for me in the hard times.

although i will never forget those crazy days when you helped me to fight it, i cant fight it anymore. its been too long. and i cant fight it anymore. im tired of always crying and always wanting to throw up. i cant anymore. thank you for trying.