4 more sleeps. thats all i got to say. all i can think of are good reasons. and being done is NOT one of the reasons im thinking. ask my hun. she knows why. some people, i know for sure i'll see them again... no way around it... but it shall be minimal. URGH. thats all i gotta say.

*yawn* im soo tired.. someone tell me why i cant sleep? its HORRIBLE... like you wouldnt believe it... i cant sleep more then 5 hrs at a go.. :s and now.... last night.. i had 4 hrs.. im now sitting here like wide awake.. minus the functioning of my brain.... someone tell me whats wrong with me? AND its 1030. my next and final exam isnt til tuesday. why am i awake and not trying to catch up on sleep?? honestly. whats wrong with me?! *sigh* i think someone needs to go home to sleep... not so cool.....but oh wels... in the mean time... heres the update as promised.....ehehehe... i ment to do it last nite... but by the time i got home..i couldnt.. i was jus gonna crash.. plus... my contacts? yeah... major issues with those.. my eyes were JUST so dry.. so not good... so not cool. haha... whoops. ^.~

well. one more sleep til i get my car!!! so YAY!!!!.. but the way im going with this... more like lack of one more sleep till i get my car! *sigh* and my roomates leaving... which is sad... but thats ok... i'll still see her... hehe... hopefully... and shes giving me her parking pass... and we ALL know what THAT means... muahaha.... "no mommy.. of course im an angel...." hahaha oh you KNOW its true.. im an angel.... that just apparently cant sleep. *sigh* but its all good... whatever....

last nite? awsome fellowshipping!!!! hehe.... funny how some of the best conversations only come when you're dead tired.... and early in the morning.... but its soo good.. minus that stupid spider... i was SOOOO right... spiders gravitate towards me... ewwww. i need like spider repellent or something... but then.... yeah..... i know... im soo tired.. nothing makes sense anymore... *sigh* not so cool... honestly... *sigh* oh the other hand...... *Sigh* sometimes, as much as you love someone... oks.. maybe i dun love her as much as i should.............you kinda just wanna beat them .... cuz HONESTLY.... URGH. but its ok... i mean... with brian with his head hanging out the door.. sorry.. with half hs body hanging out the window... and my oh-so-silly monkey boss... GO CHURCH GRANNIES!!!!!!!!!! hehehe... thats the best man.. like honestly... thats the best. when you can have fun doing the most mundane or least loved chores... but its ok.. the church grannies had some fun.. *winkz* careful what you eat now eh? haha. nono.. its all good.. we didnt do anything to them... hahaha... except have our cooking times WAY off... hahaha... but its ok.. its good to keep food rolling out. yes? hehe.

how did the poe-ing go? lets just say... i passed.... probably not with flying colors... but i passed it.... with at least a 60%.... so i guess thats comforting.... *sigh* stupid schooll... seriously.. who puts exams at the START of b-e-a-utiful days? on top of that? in the morning!!!! but then i rather have my exam in the morning then take the rest of the day off, rather then just stress all day for it and then have JUST the evening.....ya know? oks.. maybe you dont know. haha.. maybe its just a vic thing. oh wells. all i gotta say is that for 100% sure.. God wrote the exam.. i had nothing to do with it... if i wrote it, or anything.... i woulda FAILED.... someone teach me to learn... im having so much issues with that... its like what?! oh wells... Gods taking care of it i guess.. hes taking pretty darn good care of me. always has. always will. ask anyone that truely knows whats been going on in my life. ask anyone that truely knows what happened in my life. he always has. and he just always will. no question about it. i used to doubt it. but can all these things that have happened in my life be explained my anything else? nope. not at all. one song that always helped me is "Matthew 11:28"

Come unto Me, all who are weak
Weary and heavy laden
Gentle am I, humble in heart
And you shall find rest for your souls

All things are given unto those who believe
Princes and lowly ones His blessings receive
And just when I think that means everyone but me
Jesus comes beckoning to me

Come unto Me, all who are weak
Weary and heavy laden
Gentle am I, humble in heart
And you shall find rest for your souls

Who are His little ones, children of God
Children and fellow heirs of His kingdom come
We share the greatest love the world has ever seen
Here in the Lord's family

Come unto Me, all who are weak
Weary and heavy laden
Gentle am I, humble in heart
And you shall find rest for your souls

Enter the holy gate just as you are
No need for happy face, just come with your heart
And Jesus will bring us a joyful melody
If only His calling we heed

oks good um.. nite guys.. im gonna try to go back to bed. haha. but you know me. i'll be up again.. cuz i JUST cant sleep... *sigh*

oks readers of this blog... i'll update my life later... cuz i hafta cram.. but heres a notice from my monkey boss to all of you guys!!!! and make sure you come!!!!!!! ^.~

“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.” Psalm 27:4
Dear family and friends,

The Malaysian Singaporean Bible Church youth group welcomes you to join us on
Friday, May 7th, 2004 for our second 24-hour worship! Our hope is that people will be drawn into deeper intimacy with the Father and to seek after Him through worship. Last year, as we gathered to worship God through the night, He was faithful to reveal His awesome presence with us. There were many people who did not want to leave as they drew into an intimacy with God they never experienced before. This year will be no exception. Come and let us experience the wonderful presence of God together.

In conjunction with the 24 hour worship session, we will be holding a conference called “AWAKE” during the May 7th-8th weekend. The theme of the conference is the truth, reality, and nature of the heart of God for His church. Our purpose for the conference is to usher in the truth that God desires an intimate relationship with His children, that this desire is fueled with an all consuming fire and passion that has not nor will ever cease. The conference is free and we encourage you and your church to attend.

If you have any questions in regards to these events, please contact Rosanna Soh at (416) 219-5163.

AWAKE on Friday, May 7th, 2004 @ 7:00pm,
followed by 24-hour worship @ 10pm.
Malaysian Singaporean Bible Church
288 Cummer Avenue
Willowdale, Ontario
Refreshments are provided. We bless you to stay for the entire 24 hours of worship. Resting areas will be available but please bring your sleeping bags.

Blessings,
Malaysian Singaporean Bible Church youth group

well.... highlights of my day...

1. i almost forgot to eat dinner.... whoops...*angelic smile* but it was cuz i was reading.... er.. trying to read... it doesnt help when you cant concentrate and you read a sentence like 5 times over... haha... and THEN you start to recognize what you're trying to read.... *sigh* silly school.... wait.. silly person that came up with exams.. school isnt bad... exams are... *shudders* haha.... evil exams!!!

2. my friend lent me a watch for exams... and it keeps beeping at me.... and it makes me jump SOO much... EVERY hour.. without fail.... oh boy.. shall be fun... writting an exam.... have it beep and then be like AH!!! in the middle of the exam... haha... actually... that'd be more fun for everyone else... but me.. cuz i'd be soo embarassed... haha.... whoops... hehe... its all good.. yes? maybe more for some then others... haha.....

3. talked to my kreme!!!!! YAY!!! haha... gurl... we need a gurls nite out... SOON!!!!!!!!!!!! before i pull ALL my hair out... and im completely bald... like worst then now...haha... and i'll be the one which every one says "how is she your twinnie??? OBVOUSLY you're not related... she's gorgeous!" *winkz* silly lil boy/man.. i dont even know who he is.. but when i find him, i shall kick him.... very, very hard... for being a bum... *sigh* boys *sigh* and on another note gurlie? oh how i am worried... like you wouldnt beleive it... BUT... 2 days... and counting.... *crosses fingers* if it makes a week... oh boy.. party time.. HONESTLY.. pull of the flipping highway!!!!

4. how to make a watch stop beeping 101. instructor: diana irwin. time: anytime. course description: please read the course name. enough said.

5. talked to my Daddy in heaven!!!! oks.. so i do that more then once a day... so no biggie rite? excpt THIS time... his lil dumb and impatient and apparently very deaf child got hit in the head with a "WILL YOU LISTEN UP?!!?!" oks.. so it wasnt quite like that... more like a guy driving around lost.... cuz they think they know everything.. when they really dont.. and then they FINALLY pull over for directions. (silly guys if you ask me.. *sigh*) but not quite like that, cuz i pulled over when i got fustrated and lost and worried and yaddy yaddy yadda. and... TADA!!!! life is just SO much easier when you listen to the One that knows whats going on in life... SOO much better.. haha.. oh boy.. i had issues spelling "better" good thing tomolos exam is multiple choice! haha

hmm.. not a lot happened today... its all bood. back to cramming

WOA.. guess who just got gmail? haha... and they give you SO much more storage then hotmail!!!!!!!!! hahaha.. *sigh* oh boy. haha... makes me wonder... SHOULD i really be getting this? hhaa... think of all the junk i will now keep!!! haha *sigh* oh wells...

so. today was PAULA's burfday!!!! yay!!!!!!!!! happy burfday gurlie!!! you guys all know how old she is rite? MAN..... like WOA... haha.. i didnt think she really was THAT much older then me... but then.... i now know. whoops. haha.. and sammi gave me a hamburger... the BEST candy in the world... oks so i lied.. one of the best.. haha... mmmmmmmmm...... (guess whats in my mouth now? and no julie.. its not gum... *winkz* hehe) and guess what? guess who decided that today was gonna be a nice day and wear sandel-high heel thingers? yeah. the brainer here... guess ALSO who stepped into a puddle? yep. me again.. *sigh* and my feet were JUST so cold!!! i was like going nuts. haha... well.. i wasnt oging nuts.. i was just cold ingeneral. ahha.. ask sammi.. she knows.. hahaha.

guess whose not allowed to take her car into toronto? o.0 drat eh? like a weekend in town and i cant take my car with me?! whats the deal with that?! *sigh* my silly mommy.... oh! you know what she did?! she got on my brothers msn ... and she was like "WHY ARENT YOU STUDYING?!!??!?!" *sigh*... its called a break mommy... SOMEDAYS your brains just on overload... today would be one... honestly. where HAS my brain gone?

*sigh* while im at it.. you know those days, when you KNOW God loves ya, and you kinda feel how much you do and you're just like NO GOD!!!! DONT !!!!! cuz you HONESTLY feel like God made a mistake when he chose to love you? yeah... thats me... it was worst last nite.. but still.. some of the things from today... and yesterday before i actually slept.. made me realize.. that God loving me? i have no say in this.. but as far as me loving him? i have lots to say there.. its like how most parents love their kids.. not matter what they've done.. only the difference here, is that im a sinner, and God is holy... i think back to the sunlight commercials.. where the mother still loves her lil boy, even tho he played in the mud and got all dirty... and she is able to wash it all out... according to the commercial anyways... cuz thats kinda like Gods love... we sin...aka get dirty.. and by the Blood of Jesus, we are washed clean again! and even tho its kinda aggrivating to wash clothes OVER and OVER again, must like how God had to watch Jesus die on the cross for us, he still did it for us.. because we mean just THAT much to him, just like how that lil boy means a lot to his mother. kinda neat eh? as for me still wanting to crawl under a rock and never face God cuz hes so holy? i know that i'll have no sins when i stand infront of God when i go see him... because Christ has already washed my sins away..... and they have gone bye-bye.. never to be seen again.. and because of that, i am able to go to God and stand infront of him.

wow. i honestly didnt mean to write ALL that... haha.... i didnt think all of this out either.. woa.. haha.. but its all good.. i rather have the WHOLE world know how crazy and messed up my life is because i have doubts and i fear, and to have them know of Gods love... who knows whose reading this.. like HOW many ppl have found this already!? hahaa... its all good. yes? haha.. maybe i should honestly sit down and put my thoughts onto paper and send it to "the lighthouse" cuz we always need more articles.... and if you have an article you wanna put into Lighthouse *ahem* david*ahem* then send them to: mcbc_lighthouse@yahoo.com. the only criteria? the world limit is 750... cuz you dun need to rite an essay for this.. or if you have like a fun game or activity or something that you would like, you can send it to us too. haha... but thats just a thought. and article submission is may 2. so hurry hurry hurry! (pst... but if you absoultly have something to send.. you can send it after this date too.. it just mite not get put into the eddition thats comming out next.. it depends on when the editing gets split up.. ks?)

and thats all i hafta say... for now... *winkz* hehhe... oh wells.

guess what?? guess who has a job?? MUAHA!!!! haha. yeah.. i found out last nite... but uhhh... my brain got fried and i forget about it... haha..

ANYWAYS... so i was cleaning out my email thinger... cuz.. yeah.. thers a LOTTA crap in folders for some reason that i cant think of.. anyways.. i got to one email.. from my angel.. and angel? if you read this? guess what? you made me cry. and you know what? no matter what happens in life, and wherever you go.. even if you go to pluto... (which i really hope you dont... cuz i'd miss you TONS... like you wouldnt believe it... ) im always here!!!! and thanx for always being there for me... and dealing with my "BUT!!!!" and my blonde ness... haha... its NOT my fault im always lost!!! haha... *sigh*

oh today.. what a day.. haha... found out some things that are not so good... so yeah... one of my gurls.. isnt doing so well... STUPID BOYS!!!! grr.... but not all boys... rite now? hmm... im thinking of one. and lets just say hes VERY stupid... and silly.. and being a bum.. and if i ever find out where he lives.. im gonna smack some sense into him... until then.. i shall devise a way to see him so that i can smack him.. hm.. whats a good day... the 7th looks good to me... cuz i shall be in town... rite gurlie? *winkz* good luck on ya exam gurlie!!! haha..

omg.. you know what i did? i bruised my toe!!!!!! (pst.. any of you that see/talk to my rents..... DONT TELL THEM!!!! cuz my daddy's gonna go "ah leui... *sigh* nay jou mut yeah ah? nai mm dook shiu ah?" and my mommy's gonna be like "ah leui... nay yao tong been goh dah gaow ah???" yeah... lets NOT go there... *sigh* haha... accident prone.. i tell ya.) but yeah... note to all of YOU.... DONT jump up onto counters... cuz you mite miss or something... and bruise ya self... but hey. its NOT my fault im so short.... honestly. why are things soo high up??? and honestly... why smoke? i know some ppl like it... like the person from whom we stole the smokes from so that she couldnt go smoke... but thats besides the point. the point IS, when you're going to hide smokes.. do it carefully so that you can ACTUALLY reach it when you go to give them back.. hahaha ... LEARN from my mistakes guys.. its not so fun to be sitting there.. on the phone and go "hey.... why does my toe hurt....." and then find out you bruised it... but only the people with the degree of my intelligence can do that.. hahaha.. its all good. *sigh* hehe..

hmm.. what else do i hafta say about my day? hmm.... oh! MABS WORK IS AWSOME!!!! bug her to see them... muahhaa... luv ya hun... ^.~ haha.. yeah.. shes gonna kick me.. but meh... all i can say is this: 7 sleeps til my car and 10 til my BIG day.. the day of FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha.. for like 4 months.. and then its back to the grind.... oh wells.. its all good!! hahaha.. oks time to shut... *angelic smile*

omg... its soo late... and im soo dead... so why am i still up?? *sigh* simple.. a gurly reason... WHY WONT MY HAIR DRY?!?!?! *sigh* maybe next time i should shower earlier.. hmm.. what an idea... oh my.. what a blonde day... thats not soo good.. anways.. today... er i guess like 3 hrs ago... was my friends burfday.. wonderful eh? EXCEPT when their non-stop hitting on you.. and you're like uh. no. doesnt help when others are kinda pushing it... *sigh* honestly... i need a vacation from all of this... one too much things going on rite now... oh wells... its in Gods hands rite? and thats the best that can happen. *smilez* its all good.. or it will be. trust me on that one.

oh boy. what a DAY! my boys lost. and i was SO upset with that... why? hmm.... maybe exams? i dunno.. i was just super upset about something that really didnt have much impact on anything.. *sigh* steph baked muffins tho.. mmm.. yummy... haha..

to all those who were praying for me... i think im done. i think i know. so YAY!!!!!!! cuz now now i dont hafta sit and think.... cuz that hurts my head.. you all know how tiny my brain is... AND i lost it again.. someone wanna help me find it before my bio exam? please? yes? oh. drat. nevermind then.. oh wells.. too bad. but its all good. i think... *crosses fingers* haha...

oh yeah. im going nuts. why? FLIPPING EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!! *sigh* must breathe in... and breathe out.... but its hard to do.. theres just SO much going on... and running through my head. SO... URGH!!!! oks.. so im a TAD stressed... whoops... maybe its time to just go and pray... yes? good idea? yes. haha.

oh boy. what a day. one of those start with a bang! and end not so well.. *sigh*

my twinnie came today!!!! so YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was good times.. i havent seen my twinnie in SO long. it was nice. and we had our usual crazy twinnieness. muahaha.. haha.. we were just being silly.. and like the parking thinger? like 10$?? in CHANGE?! whose the idiot that designed THAT?! oh boy.. that was fun it was like hmm... $9.00... $9.25.....$9.50..... ooh look!!! i found 2 quarters here!!!! $10.00!!!! yay!!!!!!!! *sigh* seriously... this place? OH BOY... needs help man.. thats ALL i gotta say.. i mean 10 bux?! in change?! uhh rite. whose the idiot that does THAT?? and there were TWO of us and we had problems.. like hello. ok then. whatever... all in all, it was good. we woke up shuga... kreme jumped on her.. haha.. it was good times... yes. haha.. oh i miss the old days... when we saw each other like EVERY day... now its like we do.. but only like two of us.. so its like hmm... o.0 somethings missing.. we're missing the Kreme in our Ti and Shuga!

oh man. i had a talk today. a much needed one. but at the same time its like URGH cuz now im just all the more lost. like hello?! i dont even know why im so lost about this!!! maybe its just my inability to trust... and trusting is the foundation for any relationship... so many things have happened. its only when you truely fully analyze them that you can honestly understand yourself. i never thought understanding yourself would be so hard. honestly. guess i was wrong... yet again. funny eh? how sad it is that? that others would understand yourself before you even had a clue. oh how i wish i could trust. oh how i wish trusting others was easy. sure i trust people. but not all on the same level. sorry guys.. you guys are shafted with me not trusting you so much... its kinda hard when you've been around so many jerks.. *sigh*

sometimes, i just wish i never met certain people.. but then if i didnt meet them and get to know them like the way i did, would i have become the person i am today? sure i may trust a lil more... but on the whole? i dont think so. God knows what hes doing. he puts certain people into your life for a specific reason rite? i just sometimes wished learning wasnt so hard. sure its about the proccess and not about the outcome.. but at the same time, im like lost. how hard is it to move on after pain and the past? quite hard if you ask me.. especially when the cuts are so deep, and with every cut, the original wound just gets deeper and deeper... and it becomes harder and harder to heal... maybe one day... this will all go away.. like a bad bad dream... hopefullly.

today? WONDERFUL day.. haha.. minus the getting no work done part. hahaha..wanna know why?

1. i saw wendy!!!! and pete.. but no offense to pete.. im more excited about seeing wendy!!! hahaha.. i havent seen her in AGES!!!!!!!!!! oh yes. fun times fun times... silly sisqo and nelly!!! omg!!!! 1. NO NELLY i didnt go out with sisqo, EVER NOR will i EVER go out with him!!!! *sigh* some people are just too 8 for their own good.... and silly sisquo? NO. you will never go out with my sister. EVER. some people just DRIVE ME NUTS!!! *sigh* whatever. and i dun get how he keeps adding me to his new lists even tho i NEVER talk to him... *confused face* whatever.

2. MY BOYS WON!!!!!!!!!! BOO-YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg.. the BEST period 1 in the world!!!! haha.. and my voice is all hoarse and my throat hurts... *sad face* someone wanna make me some lemon honey??? wait.. come to think about it... i'll get it when i go home ... maybe ... on sunday.. haha... *sigh* oh why is life so crazy hard??? wait.. i think its only cuz its exam time and its play off time.. haha.. whoops.. yeah.. exams should NOT coincide with play off time.. honestly... do we wonder why we fail? not me. im too busy watching the game!!! haha

3. ONE MORE SLEEP!!!!!!!!! omg.. im soo excited.. haha but oh boy. 9 am? me? dressed? hmm... wait.. me? out of bed? haha.. thats a new one.. SUCH a funny one too.. *sigh* oh wells.. one must do such things... muahah.. haha.. *sigh* oh boy. lots of gurl talk.....been sooo long. hahaha.. oh wells. its all good.. and some one must go and get some money for a parking pass.. whoops hahaha.. meh. tomolo morning we shall go. muahah. hehe

oh! and i found a new fav song.. every time i listen to it i either AM or wanting to cry, or im soo sad... it sounds kinda funny just reading the lyrics... but if ya want the song.. msg me haha.. its awsome... *sigh*

WHY ~ Nicole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day,
Just me and my Daddy,
He said I'd finally reached the age,
And I could ride,
Next to him on a horse,
That of course was not quite as wide.

We heard a crowd of people shouting,
And so we stopped to find out why,
There was that man,
And my dad said he loved,
But today there was fear in his eyes.

So I said, 'Daddy why are they screaming?'
'Why are the faces of some of them beaming?'
'Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?'
'I bet that crown hurts him more than he shows,'
'Daddy please, can't you do something?'
'He looks as though he's gonna cry,'
'You said he was stronger than all of those guys,'
'Daddy please tell me why,'
'Why does everyone want him to die?'

Later that day the sky grew cloudy,
And Daddy said I should go inside,
Somehow he knew things would get stormy,
Boy was he right,
But I could not keep from wondering,
If there was something he had to hide.

So after he left I had to find out,
I was not afraid of getting lost,
So I followed the crowds,
To a hill where I knew men had been killed,
And I heard a voice come from a cross.

And it said, 'Father, why are they screaming?'
'Why are the faces of some of them beaming?'
'Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?'
'This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows,'
'Father please, can't you do something?'
'I know that you must hear my cry,'
'I thought I could handle a cross of this size,'
'Father remind me why,'
'Why does everyone want me to die?'
'Oh when will I understand why?'

'My precious son, I hear them screaming,'
'And I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming,'
'But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own,'
'Jesus this hurts me much more than you know,'
'But this dark hour I must do nothing,'
'Though I've heard your unbearable cry,'
'The power in your blood destroys all of the lies,'
'Soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes,'
'Look there below, at that sweet child,'
'Trembling by her father's side,'
'Now I can tell you why,'

'She is why you must die.'

soo.... guess what? CHICKEN BUTT!! oks... maybe not.. but guess who has her own car?? jealous? TOO BAD! hahaha... oh yeah the quote that i was looking for before, but couldnt find because i was at home and the book wasnt home.... "The man slept through the woman's creation, and has been puzzled by women ever since" ~ nancy tischler. but yeah.. i forgot why i needed that.. haha..

omg... my flipping house?? GRRRRR...... let me tell ya... egg on brick does NOT smell nice!!!!! *sigh* im soo sick of it... *sigh* silly immature ____________ who cant learn to cook eggs... *sigh*... eggs are made in a pan.. maybe a pot.. if you're gonna boil them... but DEFINATLY NOT on bricks.. or stone tiles... like hello?! *sigh* whatever....

as far as trying to think/study... anyone seen my brain? its about the size of a pea... i think it fell out while i was sleeping or something.... cuz yeah... having it for my exams would be nice... for a change.... '-' i know... explains a lot when you KNOW i dun have my brain.... *sigh*...

*sigh* soooo sleepy.... i m such a blonde today too!!!! haha... my daddys like "put the roast in at 4.45-5.00" and im like "ok" at like 5.30 my sister comes and wakes me up and shes like "ahhh!!!!! sorry i forgot to wake you up!!!!" haha.. oh wells.. that just means im not going til AFTER the game.... cuz GO LEAFS GO!!!! hahaha... and if YOU have a problem with them winning... come find me... time for parking lot discussions.. *intimidating look* <--haha me? intimidating? im an angel!!! hhahaha..

hmm... other notes... GUESS WHOSE GOING TO *AWAKE*!!!!!!!!!!! haha yeah.. i dunno... mite still hafta be kidnapped tho... shall keep y'all posted.. (woa.. that was SOO hill-billy... like "y'all come back now, ya hear?" haha... too much day camp at FAC... HONESTLY!!!!! hahah.. but it was fun... i loved it. haha) but yeah... daddy doesnt know about it... at least mommy's cool with it... actually i think its cuz she really has no say in where i go or what i do anymore... haha.. cuz regradless.. im gonna get there.. somehow... eventually. haha. *shrugs* oh wells. haha

and i was fighting with my brother.... like always.... when im not driving... but sometimes this happens as i drive too... and then its like "WILL YOU SHUT UP?!?!?!?!" and the whole " FINE. WALK HOME. IM SOO NOT DRIVING YOU!" even tho i dun actually do anything about it.. haha... maybe i should one day. hmmm.... hahah.. naw.. i luv him too much for that.. and sides.. mommy and daddy mite have someting to say about that... the walk home from church is kinda bad... but maybe from else where.. hmm.. haha... anways.. we had a fight... it went like this:

vic: I NEED MY RIGHT HAND!!!! i still hafta write my exams!!!! what are you doing?!!
my brother: oh... oks...
*2 mins later*
my brother: do you need your right hand???
vic : no.... what ARE you doing?!?!?!?! stop!!! i need my right hand!!!!!

yeah.. im a blonde.. im aware of that.. hahaha... and then there was me and my mommy.. oh boy... haha.. good times.... trying to deal with a roast... when you're half asleep and making juice when you're like REALLY not awake.. haha.. *sigh*

and then theres that game.. URGH... i got soo upset!!!!! haha.. my daddy measured my blood pressure during period 3.. and yeah.. my mommy almost made me stop watching the game... daddy didnt like it.. but he had no choice but to comply with me... cuz we took his blood pressure too.. hahaha.. oh mommy. *sigh* hehe.. when will she learn to love hockey? oh that will be THE day. haha.

and as far as announcements go? hmm...do i have any? uhh.. go to *awake* haha.. yeah.. thats all i gotta say.. i think.. haha.. oh! and this awsome quote i found in this book im reading.... but then i dun have my book rite now. haha. so yeah.. whoops. you guys will just hafta see it later. haha

oks guys (and gurls for those who care). a couple of things. listen up. hahahaha. announcement time...

1. for those of you going to *awake* and for all those that think its TOO far for you to go to, listen up. heres a map

2. for those of you who want to do something about bill C-250, heres a link you mite wanna look at.

3. for those of you who wanna be praying for other things because you have it in your heart to pray for others, or you just need something to do, then talk to me.. cuz theres a WHOLE wack of things to pray for... and if you dont, thats cool. but if you feel like doing some more praying, even for people you dont know (thats the coolest part.. to pray for someone and not have them know is like WOA!!!!! haha.. its soo much fun... ) then yeah... oh! if you have a prayer request, you can talk to me too. and i shall write you into my red book and pray for you before i sleep. ALMOST every night.. cuz im sure tehres bound to be a day where i fall asleep while praying or yeah.. not so good.. BUT theres a condition!!!! you hafta tell me when its been answered/ you dun need prayer anymore... cuz otherwise i'd just be praying for something thats not really needing prayer for.. hahaha

hmm.... thats a lotta announcements for the 2 days that i havent blogged.... hmm... did i leave anything out? hmm...

anways.. ya know whats weird? i listen to more old school pop then punk/rock now.. someone wanna tell me whats wrong with me? please? not that theres anything wrong with pop... its just not really me... hmm...

oks guys.. this is kinda scary.. and i think this is more effective then sending a mass email out.. but here ya goes...

Imagine:

You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside.
Then you lock all your doors, start the engine and shift into REVERSE.

Habit!

You look into the rear-view window to back out of your parking space and you notice a piece of paper, some sort of advertisement stuck to your rear window.

So, you shift! into PARK, unlock your doors and jump out of your vehicle to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view... when you reach the back of your car, that is when the car-jackers jump out of no where ... jump into your car and take off -- your engine was running, your purse, your packages, your tools, etc., is/are in the car, and they practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME

Just drive away and remove the paper that is stuck to your window later, and be thankful that you read this email and that you forwarded it to your friends!

Regards/Respects;
Greg Lai
Secretary
Mississauga Fire Fighters Association
Local 1212, IAFF

*shudders* some scary nasty world we have.. so please, please, PLEASE be safe guys!!! if something happened to any of you... i wouldnt be doing so well... lets just say....

oks.. so i was SOO fustrated with blogger yesterday... cuz it wouldnt post my post...and i was like URGH. but its weird cuz its back today.. so im like hmm..... hahaha... anways...

omg.. last nite? this HUGE centipede decided that it was going to watch tv with us... yeah... apparnetly i was screaming too much for the centipede to not watch the game.. haha.. but it was nice.... to watch a game with my daddy.. i havent done that in SOO long! haha..anyways... that bug? EWWW!!!!!!!!! you know why? 1. it was HUGE... like HUGE!!!!! even my mommy wouldnt go near it.... but its ok.. my daddy and my brother killed it.. hahaha.... er... more like my dad sprayed it with bug spray while my brother got the vacuum.... so yeah... i dun really wanna know where it is rite now... so we'll just assume that its dead... hahaha... cuz yeah.. me and bugs? dun do well. hahaha.

ooh!! whose got a copy of the game last nite? that goal by sundin? PRICELESS!!!!! rite gurls? haha... oh boy..oks someone hasta get some work done.. haha..

oks. so as promised. what i learnt this Easter... well.. Easter was just the climax of my learning... of this learning period... in which i've learnt TONS.. as im sure some of you who ask me will know. and those that dont ask? well you can find out now. haha..

for one, i learnt how deep the fathers love truely is. from watching passion, and watching the heart of Jesus' mother just break, to know a mothers love, to watching him being seperated from God and Gods love, for the benefit of us, thats just amazing. one thing that Dr. Lam said that truely awestrucked me (is that even a word??) was this:

Jesus summerized God's love, such that he took ALL our sins and paid them painfully. He willingly seperated from God so that WE could be with God.

like wow. and another thing that hit me? was that the "cup" that Jesus prayed for in the gardens, was not death, nor was it pain... the cup that he prayed for? was the wrath of God...which is seperation from God. like wow. for those of you who know how fustrated and hurt and sad and how much i cried during those 2 weeks when i became seperated from one of my bestest because it was better for them, and all the back lashing i got... man.. that was truely painful. there wasnt a day i went without crying. it hurt THAT much. and that was JUST one of my bestest... it was our awsome creator.... imagine how much more that must hurt....

on sunday... which i guess would be yesterday..... cuz granny's getting a lil senile.. (rite joel? haha) there was a reanactment of the song "Why?" by Nicole Nordman... i couldnt stop crying. to look up at your father and to have him not be able to help you just hurts... and for Jesus to go through that? thats just worst. one thing that Dr. Lam said on friday was this:

the most injust punishment in our history is this. an innocent man died for the guilty world

like WOA! who would go and pay the price for another? maybe ones parent... maybe one's sister. but still. to pay that price for people that despise him??? woa.. thats a lil deep for me... and me being the selfish person i am... i wouldnt pay that price.. maybe if it was someone i truely loved.. but to care like that for someone that truely hated me? i dont think so... and yet God did that.. makes you stand in awe of him eh?

one question that i truely asked was "why?" why would God love me? why would God love us? we have done nothing to deserve his love... we arent even cute lil babies that just make you love them! we're just humans that destroy whatever it is we can get our hands on.... from lives to Gods wonderful art work... to ourselves... what is there to love in is? i guess thats just the beauty of love...

PICTURES ARE HERE!!!!!! hahaha... oh boy.. i look like such a girly-girl. dun ever expect my hair to do something like that AGAIN!!! hahaha... oh boy. like me? pink? bright spanking pink?? ohhhh boy... *sigh* hahaha... but yeah.. find me if ya wanna see..haha.. AND... GO TO AWAKE!!! haha... who is going?? honestly.. its in like a month and no ones told me if their going or not yet!!! JZ!!!! common ppl!!! lets go!!!! haha.. and one last thing? GO LEAFS GO!!!!

all i gotta say is "URGH!!! STUPID SCHOOL!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!" haha.. my anger..hahhaa

anways.. i had a really good talk with one of my friends today.. its nice to know that you're not the only one with certain kinds of problems... somedays, i just wished my dad never got his job out there and we moved here.. but then i think again.. and you see.... theres no other way.. theres nothing else we coulda done.. we had to be here for a reason.. and that reason is very important, and if its a couple of bad relationships within the people that matter most to me vs. growing up wrong.. i choose the former over the latter.. which is what my parents chose and it is what God led them to do. in a way i understand what my parents gave up. i know what its like to give something up, for their benefit.. lets just say it hurts a lot.. and ya know what... its what you deem as more valuable in the end that matters....

oks.. so nails? "done" as far as im concerned haha... *sigh* this whole lets be a girl thing is SOO hard!!! grr... *sigh* oh wells.. after this? no more dressing up til sam's wedding.. yay! which isnt til the end of may!!!! hahaha..

the funniest thing today? ...well..odd...
im celebrating my one month with my boyfriend...whom im apparently hiding from the world..
and i have a 6 month old daughter...
hm... *sigh* silly boys *sigh*it was hilarious tho.. hahah

anways... there was this one passage that spoke to me while i went away with the family in the summer.. little did i know, that would be the passage that i would be learning from this school year.. and as steph so "wonderfullly" pointed out to me... tomolo? last chem and bio.. like how scary is that?? i still remember how in august i was like wha? im going where? what? and how in june i was freaking out cuz i didnt know which school i wanted to go to... like woa... anways.. ths passage is Psalm 37. its kinda long but... tough.. you can read through the whole thing or just scroll down lots.. haha..

Psalm 37
Of David.

1 [1] Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD ;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret-it leads only to evil.
9 For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy great peace.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;
13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.
15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.

18 The days of the blameless are known to the LORD ,
and their inheritance will endure forever.
19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish:
The LORD's enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,
they will vanish-vanish like smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;
22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be cut off.

23 If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;
24 though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed.

27 Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.

They will be protected forever,
but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;
29 the righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom,
and his tongue speaks what is just.
31 The law of his God is in his heart;
his feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
seeking their very lives;
33 but the LORD will not leave them in their power
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Wait for the LORD
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a green tree in its native soil,
36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future [2] for the man of peace.
38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
the future [3] of the wicked will be cut off.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD ;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.



Footnotes


This psalm is an acrostic poem, the stanzas of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.
37:37 Or there will be posterity
37:38 Or posterity

theres soo much i've learnt this year.. and im not talkingg school wise.. cuz if i really learnt... would i be doing so horribly? (is that even a word??) you know whats so funny about this passage? when i first heard it read to me, i had one view of it.. what i see from it, is now completely different.. and its been since august.. so like 8 months... like WOA... *sigh* kinda freaky if you ask me.. how does one's views change so drastically? i wish i could tell ya.. but i cant...

couple good things happened today..
1. no more stressing about trying to look like a gurl.. someones gonna do that for me. haha
2. twinnie... *sigh* what else can i say gurl? haha... ask her.. she'll tell ya...wait.. dun ask.. more house 202 stuff..haha
3. an old friend... well.. not old old.. but ya know.. and i started talking today... which is always good...
4. the FIRST chem test i knew that i didnt fail... too bad its only 4 % eh? but too much math on that.. WAY too much..*sigh*
5. finished revelations..and found only one cool verse in it that didnt scare me... haha..such a lil kid..
6. had a WHOLE star fruit!!!!!

and the bad things??
...hmm.... i... uhh... stubbed my toe like 2 secs ago and it hurts?? uhh... cramming for my tests/exams?? *sigh* i dunno.. i think im getting sick.... *sigh*

lots of things to Praise God for.. cuz when i look back over the year... wow.. HEs provided soo many times, that i cant even count.. and i had never even occured to me to ask Him for it... like WOW....

so i went out for a late dinner today... like REALLY late.. hahah... but its ok.. cuz i was talking to this guy that i dun usually talk to and hes just somehow so connected to me through so many ppl but then i dun really know him.. it was kinda cool... and odd... all at the same time... like his rents know my rents, and my uncle.. and he knows me, and my godbrother, and my cousin.. etc etc etc... its kinda weird how it all fits together.. but then what do you expect when your rents all grow up together and then move away? *shrugs* anways... so i went out with a couple ppl for dinner today... one shall be known as "c" and the other one is terrence... haha... and we had really weird convos... one went like this

Terrence - I dont have a hootie"
C - a what??
me - a hoodie.

*sigh*... some of us just need more sleep! haha.. or... just a hearing aid.... haha... or just need to enounciate... haha.. and then WHILE we were eatting? oh boy... read.. and picture this in your head... haha

C - Terrence, do you need to use the bathroom?
Terrence - no
C - you sure?
Terrence - *gives c the look* Yes.

you know that some ppl have been around lil kids a tad too long WHEN... hahaha... dun worry.. we still luv ya c! haha and the whole time? im like uhh... cuz like 1. what kinda question is that?? and 2. are you sure???? *sigh* oh the times... c ALWAYS makes me laugh... no matter what. you're SO the best c!!! hehe..

and good job 30hr faminers!!!!! break-fast tomolo!!! yay!!!! hehe... unless you've already done it... ie ecf ppl... haha.. but GO WAY!!!! hahaha... oks.. yeah.. someone should definatly NOT have ice cream for desert!!! haha... not me tho.. *shifty eyes* THATS for uh.. sure. haha..

i had something interesting to say... but it will come later.. for now? my bud has a lil something for ya.. for those of you wanting to go to AWAKE, you can form a lil praise team thing and then let me know and i shall hook you up with someone who can get you a time slot on that 24hr non-stop praise day. so yeah. it;ll be cool. for those of you that dont know about AWAKE and wanna go or something.. heres some info...

YPC of MSBC will be hosting a Conference this coming May (7-8).
It will be combined with our 24-hour worship and prayer event,
affectionately called W24. The theme for our conference is
"Awake." There will be speakers, worship, ministry, workshops
and intimate time with the Father.

So spread the word and invite those you know. And come
fellowship with us as we draw deeper into the heart of the
Father.
AWAKE
******
"Awake to make known the truths that God has revealed. To usher
in His desires for an intimate relationship fueled by the fire
of His passion. Embrace in the Father's love, to be intimate
with the One they call Christ Jesus."

Theme:
The Truth, Reality, and Nature of the Heart of God for His
Church.

Conference Details:
********************
Date - May 7th, starting at 7pm
- May 8th, starting at 10am
W24 - May 7th 10pm to May 8th 10pm

Malaysian Singaporean Bible Church
288 Cummer Avenue
Willowdale, Ontario

ks ppl? yes? yes? yes? whose going? let me see those hands.. and if rides are a problem, let me know.. and if you're going.. let me know.. we'll see what we can do.. for those of us in the west end here. ks? and we shall go on a road trip and get lost together... well.. hopefully we wont get lost. haha.

oks. someone. anyone. who ever reads this. help me. the nightmare is back. its 1.10 am in the morning. guess whose finally going to see if dinner can be eatten? yeah. slight problem. anyone have a better solution? cuz i was eatting fine today. minus dinner. and as far as my diet of arrowroots for 30hr famine.... forget that.. i cant do that.. i know. for sure. look at me. i cant even eat normally after like 2 months of diet readjustment? *sigh* im going to see if dinner is ready. *sigh*