for one, i learnt how deep the fathers love truely is. from watching passion, and watching the heart of Jesus' mother just break, to know a mothers love, to watching him being seperated from God and Gods love, for the benefit of us, thats just amazing. one thing that Dr. Lam said that truely awestrucked me (is that even a word??) was this:
Jesus summerized God's love, such that he took ALL our sins and paid them painfully. He willingly seperated from God so that WE could be with God.like wow. and another thing that hit me? was that the "cup" that Jesus prayed for in the gardens, was not death, nor was it pain... the cup that he prayed for? was the wrath of God...which is seperation from God. like wow. for those of you who know how fustrated and hurt and sad and how much i cried during those 2 weeks when i became seperated from one of my bestest because it was better for them, and all the back lashing i got... man.. that was truely painful. there wasnt a day i went without crying. it hurt THAT much. and that was JUST one of my bestest... it was our awsome creator.... imagine how much more that must hurt....
on sunday... which i guess would be yesterday..... cuz granny's getting a lil senile.. (rite joel? haha) there was a reanactment of the song "Why?" by Nicole Nordman... i couldnt stop crying. to look up at your father and to have him not be able to help you just hurts... and for Jesus to go through that? thats just worst. one thing that Dr. Lam said on friday was this:
the most injust punishment in our history is this. an innocent man died for the guilty worldlike WOA! who would go and pay the price for another? maybe ones parent... maybe one's sister. but still. to pay that price for people that despise him??? woa.. thats a lil deep for me... and me being the selfish person i am... i wouldnt pay that price.. maybe if it was someone i truely loved.. but to care like that for someone that truely hated me? i dont think so... and yet God did that.. makes you stand in awe of him eh?
one question that i truely asked was "why?" why would God love me? why would God love us? we have done nothing to deserve his love... we arent even cute lil babies that just make you love them! we're just humans that destroy whatever it is we can get our hands on.... from lives to Gods wonderful art work... to ourselves... what is there to love in is? i guess thats just the beauty of love...
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