Thursday, April 22, 2004

oh boy. what a day. one of those start with a bang! and end not so well.. *sigh*

my twinnie came today!!!! so YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was good times.. i havent seen my twinnie in SO long. it was nice. and we had our usual crazy twinnieness. muahaha.. haha.. we were just being silly.. and like the parking thinger? like 10$?? in CHANGE?! whose the idiot that designed THAT?! oh boy.. that was fun it was like hmm... $9.00... $9.25.....$9.50..... ooh look!!! i found 2 quarters here!!!! $10.00!!!! yay!!!!!!!! *sigh* seriously... this place? OH BOY... needs help man.. thats ALL i gotta say.. i mean 10 bux?! in change?! uhh rite. whose the idiot that does THAT?? and there were TWO of us and we had problems.. like hello. ok then. whatever... all in all, it was good. we woke up shuga... kreme jumped on her.. haha.. it was good times... yes. haha.. oh i miss the old days... when we saw each other like EVERY day... now its like we do.. but only like two of us.. so its like hmm... o.0 somethings missing.. we're missing the Kreme in our Ti and Shuga!

oh man. i had a talk today. a much needed one. but at the same time its like URGH cuz now im just all the more lost. like hello?! i dont even know why im so lost about this!!! maybe its just my inability to trust... and trusting is the foundation for any relationship... so many things have happened. its only when you truely fully analyze them that you can honestly understand yourself. i never thought understanding yourself would be so hard. honestly. guess i was wrong... yet again. funny eh? how sad it is that? that others would understand yourself before you even had a clue. oh how i wish i could trust. oh how i wish trusting others was easy. sure i trust people. but not all on the same level. sorry guys.. you guys are shafted with me not trusting you so much... its kinda hard when you've been around so many jerks.. *sigh*

sometimes, i just wish i never met certain people.. but then if i didnt meet them and get to know them like the way i did, would i have become the person i am today? sure i may trust a lil more... but on the whole? i dont think so. God knows what hes doing. he puts certain people into your life for a specific reason rite? i just sometimes wished learning wasnt so hard. sure its about the proccess and not about the outcome.. but at the same time, im like lost. how hard is it to move on after pain and the past? quite hard if you ask me.. especially when the cuts are so deep, and with every cut, the original wound just gets deeper and deeper... and it becomes harder and harder to heal... maybe one day... this will all go away.. like a bad bad dream... hopefullly.

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