so.. i've been asking myself, why do i bother to love people, regardless of what it says in the Bible? i just want to stop loving people. anyone and everyone. just stop. but i cant. according to one of my friend (who thinks that they know me well) i'd die if i stopped loving people. that made me wonder..would i really die if i didnt love others around me?

its funny how as soon as one question is answered, you question another thing and another and another. but i saw one of my friends today, and he had a lot to say about something else that im wondering that just told me that it applied to this question too. he told me this story that he read out of "our daily bread"

there was a man, who loved emperor moths, and one day found a cocoon and decided to take it home. as the moth was struggling to get out, the man decided to help it by cutting the cocoon open. but in doing so, he had hurt the little moth. you see. it is through the struggle of comming out of the cocoon that fluid is pushed through the wings and only though that, can the moth truely fly.

its like when the apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. it says

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

so i guess what i really hafta learn is to keep trucking. its very easy to tell other ppl that. trust me. i do it ALL the time. but its hard to tell yourself that. i guess i must keep loving people. "for when i am weak, then i am strong"