so i give up. simply, thats all there is. i give up. to all of you who have been SOO helpful...if you think loving me and helping me means you stab me in the back or turning against me? thanx. some "family" i have...both the literal one and the one made of "friends". i know im not good enough when i go by the azn standards. thanx for also telling me that me being who i am and being myself isnt good enough for you as well. you know. i thought being who i was would make my friends happy because that means i have been released from the azn standards. i also thought i would be a lot more happier. but to be released from the azn standards makes everyone hate me, and tell me that im not good enough. being me used to be good enough for me and for everyone else. it was the one thing everyone wanted and encouraged. well. simply put. im not good enough as is. no one is happy with the real me. the only one who used to be happy was me. and if thats all the people thats going to be happy then maybe i wont bother anymore. if being me isnt good enough, then why bother? at least the other way, everyone else was happy...i simply give up. you win. i loose. so go celebrate. dont bother calling. im not going to pick up. dont bother writting. im not gonna read it. because the real me cant deal with seeing what you "need" or want to say to me about me. and the real me cant deal with knowing how much i have disappointed you. and that is simiply all. you win. i loose. end of story.