as im working on my bio submission, silas is talking to me. and first he says "change your msn name" and then he says "you need to update" and me being me, got suckered into both. why? cuz blogging is DEFINATLY more fun then making graphs and drawing charts and answering a spread sheet with specific instructions as in put the slope in cell H3 or something dumb like that. my prof is definatly a grampa for that.

this past weekend i was at retreat. what an eye opener. i lernt how much of a paperazzi brian can be, and how much of a terrorist, in the most angelic and innocent sense, silas can be. but all in all, i still love them... just maybe not rite this instant anyways. haha. many things were learnt. some of them i've learnt in previous years, i just needed reminding. other things i always knew, but i never had it in my face before. and some of these things will never leave me.

one of these things i learnt was how to be a friend. i spent some time in real proximity with people that im not usually so close with, or even have that much in common with. i'll admit it. honestly, its hard to be friends with some people, sometimes. but the more i look at myself and the more honest i am with myself, the more i see that with me, its not just SOME days its hard to be friends with me, but its usually the case. and yet my friends still love me and their still my friends. pretty darn amazing isnt it? on top of that all, who am i to question who i can and cannot love when God loves me?

one of the lessons i've been learning lately is that its not good enough to JUST love God. we are called to do more then that. we need to love God and because God loves us, we need to love those around us. it is only through the loving of others, will the love of God be seen, and through that, the world will see and know the love of the true God. kinda challenging eh? how can we ever do this? only through God. phillipians 4:13.

one thing roy said really stood out to me. and i got thinking. you know that whole you cant love without liking? in a way, with friends, you cant be friends until you accept them for who they are. and i never really thought about it like that. but its true. and funny how the last person i can accept is me. maybe its my lack of sleep talking, or maybe its my lack of caffiene. im not quite sure which it is yet. but when i DO know, i'll let you know. but regradless of that, its all true. how can you be friends with someone if all you ever do is judge them and tell them that their not good enough? and yes. the truth hurts. but when you tell them, do you do it in love and with acceptence? or is the finger pointed and its done out of spite, or in-acceptance? what i remind myself with? SINCE God accepts me and loves me for who i am, of all people, who am i to question his command to love Him and to love others, which Jesus says are the greatest commanments? causes you to think. doesnt it.