I NEED A HUG!!!!

oks. now that THATS established....hehehe
its been a while since a real post.. haha.. lots of other things and random vents. talk about pms! jz! all things aside, what a crazy year its been. everything from being im pretty sure i'd never be able to talk to my twinnie like a real friend, never mind a twinnie, to being able to start the new year with her. its amazing.

oh! why i need a hug? if you know about eternal happiness...and you finished it... you'll know why. but if you dun understand it.. i COULD explain.. but yeah. its too long for here. i talk enough as is. but yeah..in a way.. it kinda reminded me of things... and if you need to know... YES eternal happiness has sap in it.. and yes it made me cry.. thats why i need a hug. hahaha. but seriously? watch it. its so cute and sweet.... and kinda along the lines of "a walk to remember" but its like 20 hrs long. (theres 32 episodes i think..) and yeah..but im done that now.. so i guess i can be a normal person again. hahaha

oks.. this is from cinderella's blog. cuz i dunno what else to say about 2004. and after this i shall be shopping. cuz i need to. hahaha anyone wanna dig me out from the snow? or get my car out from under the snow? please? o.0 <-- me looking at the car trying to figure out how to get it out. hahahaha

Reflections on 2004

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? had ppl over til 6 in the morning. hahahahaa
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? umm. i dunno what my resolution was... maybe i shouldnt make any this year.. cuz i wont remember it anyways...
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? umm...does lisa count?
4. Did anyone close to you die? lets not discuss that.. those things are horrible to remember...
5. What countries did you visit? the wonderful world of my room. oh dear me. i could get lost in here!
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? a clean room maybe?
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? sept. 5th. sammi left me. for her jail cell.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? i didnt fail out
9. What was your biggest failure? i failed some people which do not need to be named. they know who they are. and it wont matter. they dont read this anyways.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? does heartbreak count?
11. What was the best thing you bought? wendy's bible!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? uhhh.... someone explain. small words.. preferably in english...
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? jon and petes. last nite at timothys. oks. not depressed... just very very very appalled.
14. Where did most of your money go? school stinking tution!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? sammi comming home!
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? perfect. by simple plan
17. Compared to this time last year, you are:

i. happier or sadder? apparnetly happier..according to certain people..
ii. thinner or fatter? DEFINTALY fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? umm... i'd like to say richer.. but after christmas shopping.. it will be poorer.. (yeah...i know... im not done yet...)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? listening ....preferably other people and God and not me...and learning..
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? talking. and making faces at steph. hahaha
20. How will you be spending Christmas / Hanukah? at home. like a bump on a log.
21. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2004? ask carmen. OH DEAR ME
22. Did you fall in love in 2004? yes. with frosti.
23. How many one-night stands? um. none. hahaha.
24. What was your favorite TV program? i dun watch tv...
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? nope. still hate the same people.. unless you wanna count that guy that followed me around in the book store...
26. What was the best book you read? anything by corrie ten boom
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? my brother on electric. well..acoustic i already knew.. but still. crazy!
28. What did you want and get? sammi comming home. and my brother growing up nicely.
29. What did you want and not get? "world peace" ask my daddy. oh dear me.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? does eternal happiness count?
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i went to toronto for dinner with my grammie. and stayed there. im old. you dun need to know how old.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? world peace. and abolishment of politics. omg. that makes my head hurt SO MUCH!
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? comfortable
34. What kept you sane? God. and a list of people
35. Which celebrity / public figure did you fancy the most this year? fancy as in they were cute? or what? i dun seem to recall one... hmm.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? see number 32. and my heads hurting again. BLAH!!!
37. Who did you miss? starts with m or j or s. you know who you are. hahaha
38. Who was the best new person you met? do i only gotta pick one???
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: Gods love is amazing. and it NEVER fails.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year :

I'm only human, often assuming the worst
And I catch myself wondering why I'm last and never the first
I'm looking for answers to questions I don't even have
As if life were that simple defined

Like a time-bomb that's tickin' inside me
I'm waiting till the time I'm set free
This pain and confusion has jaded, invaded my life

I will not sink in the waters around me
I will not think that my circumstance drowns me
I will not trust in the world that surrounds me
I am kept strong by the one who sustains me

You insist I can't reach, you're convinced you can't teach me to fly
You say I can't win, and you tell me not even to try
You resist what I say when I tell you I'm not gonna fail
Don't you know that it hurts like a hammer that's driving a nail

Like a time-bomb that's tickin' inside me
I'm waiting till the time I'm set free
This pain and confusion has jaded, invaded my life

I will not sink in the waters around me
I will not think that my circumstance drowns me
I will not trust in the world that surrounds me
I am kept strong by the One who sustains me.

thats sustained, but justis kao. and i actually found what his thoughts were on that song.. here

The main verse that thing song comes from is Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."

This song came at a time in my life where I felt like I had reached an ultimate low. I was confused and starting to doubt myself in a lot of ways. The chorus just kind of sang itself out of me because is had Psalm 55:22 in my head. It has been a blessing to me time and time again because it is a song that the Lord has given me to remind myself that he is ever-present in my life and sovereign over all situations, good or bad, happy or sad. For that I am grateful — Justis Kao