omg.

honestly.

the honesty and trust that some people have.

the untrust worthyness of others.

why cant people be nice?

why cant people be honest?

to think that i bother helping them.

why bother?
whats the point?
who cares?


the truth?
no one cares. theres no point to it. and only those who are nosey bother.

i should just give up.

so why havent i?
..i guess its cuz i dunno that im stupid.
or maybe cuz i think im a cut above the rest, and i can do it.

but you know what?
im wrong. i AM stupid. and im not a cut above anyone. not even the garbage IN my garbage can.

somethings never change.

the world will always hate itself.
the world will always hate me.
and i will always be too stupid to know the difference.

i guess some wanna know whats going on.

theres nothing to tell.
nothing to explain.
nothing to understand.

at the end of it all, its just me.
and im just stupid for beliveing that i could do better. and that i can make a difference in this world. because you know what? i really cant.

why bother? im not gonna anymore.
why care? i wont.
why trust? im not. theres no one to trust.

to everyone else, screw you. i dun really care what you think anymore. and im definatly done sitting around just to be there for you. because it doesnt matter if i am there or if im not. you wont need me. never have, never will. so i dunno why you keep asking me to.

i cant live my life for you. its time i lived mine. so if you have a problem with me not being there for one moment in time, because you've FINALLY made time to spend with me, then screw you. just because youre looking for me doesnt mean im looking for you. just because you've finally found 5 mins to spend with me, doesnt mean that i have 5 mins for you. before you coulda had as long as you needed. but no more. its time for you to find someone who cares. and that definatly aint me. go ahead and breakdown and cry. watch me. im just gonna turn around and walk out of your life and thats the end of that. have a good life.

i hope you will find someone who cares about you. or your life. because im done. im done trying to figure out your double life. where you say one thing and yet you mean another thing. im tired of telling you, im here. its ok. only to find that you just want me to sit there waiting for you so that you feel better about yourself when you really dont need me there and you were just wasting my time. and the one time you really need me there and i cant be there, you make me into your garbage only to put me on a one way guilt trip. well im off. im out of your lying, guilt-laying, double sided life. maybe you'll finally find someone who is either stupid enough to never wake up to smell the coffee and to find that everything they thought was truth, was a lie, an imagery made up so well, it became reality for a while, becuase you;re an expert weaver of lies.

good bye.