Happy New Year everyone!!!!
as i sit in bed and think about the past year,
(yes lil boy. im sitting in bed. be jealous. but i already explained to you)
many many things have happened. many lessons learnt.
some of these things were good. some were not so good.
some were just HILARIOUS. like the one i had with some guy named anthony
... he's either really drunk or needs glasses or something....
thats all i got to say about him... rite mabs?

a lotta times i was in need.. more of it was in the last 4 months...many of you know why. from my incapabilities to expressing myself to my self-destruction.sure im getting back on track, sure i wanna thow up. at the end of the day, its worth it.sure i gained like NUTS esp this last 2 weeks that i've been home.. but is it helping?excuse my weird moments while i adjust to my new diets, the one now and the one on res.

i just wanna thank all of you who have been helping me get back on track.
from just listening, to making sure im ok, to asking me if i ate, to shoving food down my throat...
even tho i may have disliked you for the moment because of what you were doing for me,
i just wanna say that without you, i couldnt have made it this far. and it seems that every time i fall, i just fall harder.. so hard that it seems impossible to get back on track and its oh SO easy to just give up. but you dun let me and i just wanna thank you all for that.. and thanx for ALWAYS putting up with me.

as far as growing goes.. i dunno.. well in the physical sense, ask my dad. hes got lots to say about my weight. and my grammie probably will when i go see her tomolo. but its ok. whatever...and in the spiritual sense, so many things have happened. i just dunno even where to start! its amazing what God can do in JUST one year....and it is in times where i wanted to not be is where i learnt most. its like stretching. it hurts while you do it, but afterwards, it just feels SO good. and next time, when you go to stretch the same stretch again, it feels a whole lot better and its easier and sooner or later, its like nothing. amazing eh? funny i never saw it like that before and when God was helping me grow...

and as dumb as it is for me to make a new years resolution cuz i never remember them long enough to call it a resolution. im gonna try to live a life, worthy of the calling. as Pastor Paula says, "we need to be DOERS of God's Word, NOT just hearers". the verse that the english congregation was trying to memorize is ephesians 4:2 in NIV, it says "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." but then what does it mean to bear with one another in love? in the NLT version, it says "making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." THANK YOU NLT so that ppl like me can understand it. this is something i definatly need to work on for the new year. someone remind me when i forget. which WILL be often. trust me. i forget things ALL the time. so remind me.

so many ppl have come and gone from my life. and if you're one of those and you just happen to stumble upon this page, thank you for making a difference in my life. and if you're still in my life. thank you for being you anyways. hahhaa... neways. theres 10 mins til the new year and my rents are rushing around like mad, and they want me to come downstairs to them. so this is me signing off for 2003. happy new year all. cheers.