do you ever wonder why things happen the way they do?
im gonna assume most ppl have.

do you ever wonder why ppl try to impose their thoughts on you?
im gonna assume that, it has happened to you too.

do you ever wonder why some ppl are just forever engraved in your life and in your heart?
that i wonder very much.

how is it that it is so hard to forget a person?

how is that it is so hard to do what you think is rite, and be chided for it, because apparently you have forgotten yourself in the plan?

oh how hard it is to hold ones tongue and to hold back anger and fustration!

how much harder is it to not just give up and to have contempt for the situation or people.

do you ever wonder where is God?

do you ever wonder what's God's plan?

do you ever wish that ppl would stop "interpreting" God's plan for your life, for you?

do you ever wish that everything would just stop? if even just for a moment so that you can breath?

that i wish, and more. but alas, these things are nothing but wishes that are just going to remain a dream thats just out of reach.

why cant i forget you?

Did you ever wonder
If dreams could come true
If love songs and fairy tales
Were ever meant for you
Did you ever wonder
What's at the rainbow's end
If Romeo and Juliet
Could ever happen again

*sigh* why are the guys in my life jerks and/or perverts?? granted there are some sane guys who are worth loving... those include most of the grade 11 guys... which are gonna be in grade 12 soon... (man im old!!!) and ppl like aaron, gabe, jordan, my angel, my cousins, my alan, and hubert, and rano, etc. etc. etc. but the rest of the guys in this world??? oh grosss. like honestly. how does one end up finding soo many jerks in the world? or so many perves? like 1. stop looking. seriously. you're in church for a reason buddy. and that reason best NOT be me. 2. stop trying to look down my shirt. theres nothing there.. and if there was, it'd just be fat tissue. so how about i just go and get you a piece of pork from the store and you can stare at it's layer of fat? hmm? like honestly. fat isnt so interesting. 3. sitting closer to me does not mean that im gonna like you anymore then i already do.. and let me tell you. if you were the last person on earth, not counting me? i still wouldnt talk to you even if i was dying of bordem. trust me on that one. 4. asking my parents where i am, does not prove anything, for one? they dont always know where i am, and for another? that just makes you a dirty stalker, as opposed to just being a dirty pervert. so please. smarten up. you're not a dumb kid.. well.. you werent when i thought i knew who you were. you should know. leave me alone. and let me tell you this too... if you DONT leave me alone because you are THAT stupid, my hun will get you. my hunny already wants to beat you into a pulp. so smarten up. its THAT simple.

sicky doesnt have her ring, cuz hun says to stay home and get rest. *tear*

so im doing some thinking today... cuz for some reason, im dizzy again today... so yeah... needless to say, work was fun.. at one point i actually thought i was gonna just go and roll down the stairs. haha. yeah.. and then i slept so much today, and i absolutely have no strength.. wonderful. its like friday all over, except i hafta be functional and go to work. *sigh* what IS wrong with me?

oh! before i forget. i have some major explaining to do. the One that im with? is forever. its for eternity. and you know what? NOTHING can change that. not even my parents. because its a decision that i made. and i made it a while ago. we were married a while ago. rite gurls? and now, we're gonna get our wedding rings. and if you have a problem with this idea. then i guess its just too bad for you. but if you want an explination for it, that i can give you, but it wont be here.

oks. in my thinking while at work today, a song came to mind. and you know what? it STUCK. *sigh* its called "a girl can dream" and then i was listening to eamon... needless to say.. URGH. but no more of that. i have my one. and tahts all i need.

im getting married. and that is all i hafta say. and my dearest "stalker"? not what you're thinking. cheers.

how am i gonna teach these kids?? oh dear. someones in need of a lotta help. and its help only God can give. but its all good. hopefully these kids can learn from my mistakes in my life and learn to live lives that are what God wants for them and that glorifies God. pray that they'll learn to obey God. and to love Him for the wonderful saviour he is. please and thanx. haha.

oh what a day. even my daddy's being weird on me!!! like WHAT?! apparently one minuet im a "good" daughter and next minuet, hes ready to eat me. like hello. someone wanna explain whats going on??? *sigh*

soo many things to do.... like OMG!!! hahaha. oh dear. who wants to deal with some of this stuff for me? oks. read and tell me if you wanna do something. haha.
-clean my room. *ahem* sammi? *ahem*
-write my music. oh! and practice it to.. haha anyone wanna help me with that?
-get rid of my stalker.. not my dear "stalker" the OTHER one. hes quite perverted too now that i think about it... ewww. *shudders*
-deal with the jerks in my life.
-get better.
-teach.

hm... i think thats it. haha. OH!! on a side note.. whats with guys and that corner?!?! seriously.. theres this corner at work.. oh dear. pick ANY employee and i'll tell ya, they've probably almost walked into another person at LEAST once a day... and it'll be like 6.45 and your shift starts at 7 and you'll have already walked into like two ppl.. how crazy is that?! you JUST got there for like 2 secs and you walked into like 2 ppl!!! *sigh* they have mirrors up EVERYWHERE but there.. haha. oh dear. the big problem area. haha. oh. and theres a guy that has an andy kinda smile. haha. im serious. he smiles like andy. oh dear. haha.

something i read today that just kinda poked at me and i thought that whoever reads this should ponder it for a bit.. is something that Madeleine L'Engle wrote in a book called "Two Part Invention" it says "It is a terrible choice: the purfying fire of the Creator or the deathly cold fire of Satan." think about it. if ya have some comment about it, tell me about it. i wanna hear what you hafta say about it. haha. vickees@hotmail.com.

on a side note? you're destroying me. stop. please. im begging you. stop destroying me. let me try and rebuild from whats left. please.

*sigh* why is life so complicated? some changes are DEFINTALY in order. for one. stupid males. seriously. *sigh* jerks. all of them. oks not all of them. just almost all of them that i know. minus my wonderful brothers and a couple others... but the others are very far and few between i must say.

hm.. what else do i hafta rant about? anyone feel like writing music?? yes? yes? yes? then talk to me. cuz im wondering WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! *sigh* this is what happens when you're given a week and a half to write, practice AND perfect an accompanyment and you're just so dead tired you have writters block. *sigh* silly parents. thanx for telling me. haha

who wants to make me a banana split? haha or go get me egg tarts for that matter. *Sigh* i need to get some money and just go and get these things to eat... ahahah *sigh* oh dear. i think my diet isnt working out much.. so many cravings.. good thing i cant afford it. hahaha. oh dear.

oh. btw. carms name(for those of you that dont know... its "why waste your time on someone when they wont waste their time on you??") is a WONDERFUL thought provoker. haha.

The Reason ~ Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

just a quick note to my world. for those of you that need an explination of what my world is.. *ahem* dan *ahem* my world is all those around me, especially those near and dear to me. my announcement to the world is as follows:

for the time being, i shall be not here. if you require me, ask yourself what i woulda said to you. if you really need to contact me, my twinniws shall know or my hunny, or my princess, and maybe my knight. nono. not my knight in shining armor, my sir complain-a-lot. in case you need clarifaction.. *ahem*

to those who are glad im gone, im glad that i can at least make someone smile, and you can grin harder, because you're probably the only ppl that i've ever made happy with my life

to those that miss me, nothing to be said. there isnt one.

to those who are just nosey and wish to know where i am? see my "stalker" he should know. haha. rite aaron? *winkz* but then i dunno. he seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. so... you can have a fun time looking for him too. haha.

to those who are indifferent, im sorry i can make your life better. look to God. trust in him. much like what was said in sermon today, we are seeds. a seed is not created to be a seed. it is created to be much more. tap into God's nutrient abundence and grow to be what he truely created you to be.

and that is it world. be back in a while. a long while. haha. but those long moments will seem very short to you. trust me.

things im thinking about. and no. im not thinking about YOU. you know who you are.. *winkz*

-my parents and their non-stop nagging. someone remind me to never call them unless im in trouble.. actually smack me if im gonna call them. cuz it would be the old me trying to make them happy when nothing would make them happy with me.

-my angel doesnt love me anymore....-.-; *sigh* but i still love ya angel!!!!

-stupid men of this world just piss me off. URGH. if anyone has an anger problem and wish to beat someone, please see me. i have a list of guys you can to and hunt down and beat. *sigh* why do they exist? good question.

-diet changes. watch. goals in my mind. cya in sept. no more of this going out business for me. must work on diet. haha. call me if you want, or msn me or something. but thats it baby. no more going out. plans in my head. i'll be back around in sept.

so yeppers world. cya in sept. or ttyls. haha

the weekly update of vics life.. haha.. especialy for you, my dearest "stalker" who apparently fell off the face of the earth... ^.~ hahaha.

- i was reading someones blog, and in that blog, they talked about being good enough for God, and it really impacted me. and i've come to truely realize, that im good enough for God, just the way i am. if you wish to differ, tell someone who cares, which means not me. if the awsome God, in his grace, says that i am good enough for Him, who are you to challenge that?

- the fishies are getting a new home.. YAY!!!! its really really pretty.. AND that means when THESE fishies go to their new home, we'll have an extra tank.. and that means... MORE fishies!!!! yay! haha

- lil boy? you ARE comming to my church. dont fight your granny. its not nice lil boy. hehe.. ^.~

- creepy old men scare me. thats what i learnt this week. haha

- my dearest is getting baptized!!! yay!!!! hm... now what to wear? and monkey boss... watch. it'll be pants.. haha. JUST cuz you're not here. haha. maybe not. we'll see.

- my gor gor left me. *sniff* *sniff* but its ok. he'll be back in sept. boo-yeah. bbq time baby!

- my gabe is getting an award!!! yay!!!!

-"if you cant hula-hoop in my room, what makes you think you can do it in yours?" haha. oh sammi.

i think thats it. haha..