omg.. i need a hug... bad.. *sigh*
first.. i was blogging about why i needed a hug to begin with.. and i had SOO much typed out.. and then... my internet decides to mess up.. like CRAZY and so its now all gone.. and now i gotta retype whatever i can remember of it. *sigh*

oks.. what i was saying was about the song "Without You" you see, yeah.. its got a line in it that goes "Without you, i could not be strong, i could not hold on, without you" thats the part that hits me most. why? because its about being strong, through like everything, and thats what i've been taught my whole life.

you see. i was taught to be in control of me, to control my surroundings OR adapt myself to it, so that i could see each step. so to begin with, this whole "let go and let God" thing doesnt sit too well with me.. it not that i have a problem with it, i just have a problem with doing it.. i tend to not be able to let go as easily as some people can. and thats the thing with faith, you depend on God, and being taught to depend on myself, and NOT others, its kinda hard to do. anways, i digressed.

oks. so whats going on and why is this being brought up? WELL. oks. at work? theres 11 people on my team. 2 of them work upstairs in processing and im pretty sure i've never seen them before.. cuz they dont come to our team meetings.. theres too much to do up there for that. thats 9 people on my team. subtract me. so thats 8 people on my team that i "know" because on of them is a truck driver, and gets off his truck long enough to only joke with his buddy, whose an operator on my team. 7 people left to be accounted for. 6 of them are operators.. 1 other person is a kelly lady. so theres 2 gurls on my line, including me and like technically 9 guys. but really 7 guys.

last nite? oh the WORST. honestly. one thing i can say? dont work contenential shifts unless you GOTTA.. and i mean GOTTA. on top of that? dont do nites, and on top of THAT?? dont work on an essentially all guys line. like they even pulled the baler off the other line to work on my line yesterday. and the baler is a guy. *sigh* anyways. what happens? of COURSE they leave the kelly lady alone. but me? no. what are the chances? and dont even THINK of answering that one. honestly.. its like borderline harassment. *sigh* like common.. even the truck driver was bugging me, and he doesnt know me. chances ARE he doesnt even know my name!! and urgh. all i gotta say about that is man + paper cup + water + fan = NO GOOD. and his buddy? just plain NO GOOD. like yeah.. he can be nice. but still.. him + sustainers? DEFINATLY no good. him + scraper = no good.. like he made a football out of saran wrap. like hello?! what part of work did he miss???? and like this other operator?? omg.. you work in the press room. i see you maybe for like 20 minuets in a 12 hr shift. and you're picking on me like mad??? and you're mocking me like you've known me forever?! uhhh rite. so you think. no. and i've come to the conclustion that male kellys? oh dear me. honestly. sure theres a couple sane ones.. but like BUDDY. oh gross. honestly... all i gotta say is 3 more weeks, and i hope i NEVER see him again. like JZ. ask sammi about fat choy low. like ewww. *shudder*

*sigh* thats a WAY longer rant then i woulda thought i could come up with.. maybe im just tired... maybe i m just really really fed up with them.. all i gotta say is 96 more hrs.. and THAT IT. boo yeah. no more of this "daddy" business.. *sigh*