being at home is certainly different.
my angel sent me this story yesterday.. it speaks to the inner self. here. read it...

The Room is Dim
The room is dim, and all you can see is your lit computer screen. You know its bad for your eyes, but you are too tired to turn them on. You just want to sit on that chair forever and forget reality. It's the holiday season, but you feel like it is the end of the world. You feel as if everyone has left you, as if everyone has moved on and forgotten. Sounds from the computer start to emerge. Your Messenger has logged you on, finally, and messages begin to pop up. You don't feel like talking to any of them, for they are never there when you need them. Why do they deserve your time? But, as a human, you begin to chat with them all, putting on that mask, to make sure that nobody sees the real you. The basic hellos and how are you doings are exchanged, but you lie on your part. You tell them that everything is good, but truly, you are dying inside. Friends invite you to the movies, and others invite you to some parties, but you don't want to go, you don't want to see them at all. As you type your words of lie, your mom hears you crying. She enters the darkened room and turns on the light. She screams frantically and asks if you are ok. But you don't want to talk to her; you want to deal with it on your own. So you just lie, once again, and make up an excuse just to get her out of your room. But your mom is smart, she knows that something is wrong, but she also understands that you need your space. So she gives you a hug, turns off the light, leaves and shuts the door. You turn around, and see that messages of friends asking if you are still there surface. You reply, saying you were busy and had something to do. You sit on that chair of yours, crying and weeping, until the day is over. It is late into the night and you have already missed dinner. But your mom brings you up your dinner, and as you eat slowly, you watch as all your friends disappear, not expecting a thing. Nobody knows your hurt, nobody understands you. One by one, they disappear into the night, leaving you once again. You are about to leave, and huddle into your bed, but someone logs on. Someone that you actually want to talk to. A conversation is stuck, and the masks breaking, very slowly. He can sense something; he can sense something is wrong. He asks if you are ok, and if you would like to talk about anything. You reply with an uncertain no, and he has found his proof. He knows, and you know that the walls have come down. Sobs and weeps become a flood of tears. As you jam your fingers on your keyboard, you express every hurt that is eating your soul, for you know he will understand. The tears blind your sight, you cannot see what you are writing, but your fingers do not take a moment to stop. He reads in silence, as the words become a window into your soul. You finally cease, the tears begin to hush, and the room is silent, as you wait for a response. A reply is sent, and your tears begin to flood again, but instead of sorrow, they are tears of joy. The words that he spoke, filled your soul with his love, and you feel as if everything is all right. The words that he spoke were, "I love you. Never forget that. When all have abandoned, I will be right behind you, giving you the strength to keep on going." A smile surfaces from your red face, you begin to sense that everything will be all right. You thank him for all he's done, and you tell him you need your rest, and you head off to bed. As you turn off your computer, you remember those 3 words, I love you, and your smile grows larger. As you tuck yourself into bed, you fall asleep quickly. In your dreams, you dream that you are with him. He wraps his arms around you and tells you everything will be all right. He tells you to let it all out, and you cry, you cry until there are no more tears. You look up, and he is still there, holding you tight, making sure nothing happens to you. You fall asleep in his arms; you wish that this dream could be reality. But you realize you will see him tomorrow, everything is ok now.

you know what? my angel wrote this. so yay for my angel!!! hehe... luv ya angel! hehe... *hugs*