so today was futile. SO unproductive. well... i guess it was productive... i got 5 mins of sleep... in my "nap"... URGH... anyone have any good suggestions about sleeping??? i appear to have a slight problem these days... so yeah... i was too tired to do anything, yet i couldnt sleep to make up for it and i wouldnt let me have caffeine to wake up... cuz whats it gonna do to me after its run its course? im just gonna be worst....*sigh* if anyone one of you smart people figure it out, then tell me ks? let me know... i need sleep.. im going crazy out of my mind.....

so i sat around to day and i did some figuring of things out. one thing that i figured out? i take ppl for granted. you think that they'd be there, but they wont always be. lernt that the hard way. another thing i figured out? i have a bad judge of character. i cant trust some of those that i trust now... so does that mean i should be trusting those that i dont trust rite now and not trust thost that i dont trust rite now? hmm... perplexing thought. another thing that came to me? you know who those that are important to you and who finds you important because they will be those that you turn to and those that are around you when you need them to be...

in looking over the past 2 weeks, i figured out why i found these 2 weeks hard. it wasnt that school was hard or anything, there was just a lot of emotional baggage... not all of it was mine. there were happy times and sad times, just too much for me to handle all at once... and all this "growing up" stuff... too much for me to handle. WAY too much... can i just stop time and be like this forever? sure some of the reasons why i need to grow up is a REALLY good reason... but at the same time, its like how do i start? where do i go from here? *sigh* someone tell me... or wake me up when this is all over........


oh... woa.. something hit me.... one of my friends signed in, and "Job 38:1-2" was in their name.. so i looked it up.

The LORD Speaks From Out of a Storm
From out of a storm, the LORD said to Job:
Why do you talk so much when you know so little?

well. that answers what i had to say i guess... wow. its amazing when God hits you in the head with something eh? its soo cool and yet so like eeee.... cuz you're like.... OMG!!!!!!!! oh wells.. thats as exciting as my day gets.. well... not the part where God hit me in the head, cuz im too deaf and dumb to hear him otherwise..... so yeah... oh wells.. we'll just hafta see where i go from here.