on thurs, this amazing poem was read to a bunch of us. and it made me think. here.. read it. slowly. one line at time. and think about each line. read it outloud..

An Open Invitation

There was this shimmer -
Velvet yellow,
Behind white wooden frame.
Dancing silhouettes,
In gray-black shade.
That caught my eye,
As I walked,
Enwrapped in star-sky.
Compelling me to focus,
Away from constellations and prophets,
So I wouldn't miss a thing.

I stood upon ice soil -
With purple soles,
Beneath snow waterfalls.
And naked knees,
Short sleeves,
Among bleeding hands,
And frozen lashes,
I shivered,
As it glistened,
Inviting me to come and listen.

I could only imagine,
Who sat behind the floating curtain,
Praying while I continued to run?

I didn't have to knock,
The door was open -
A chandelier;
With overflowing wax,
Candled light,
And golden glow,
Hung relatively low,
To a four chair table,
Equipped with silver cutlery,
Porcelain dishware,
Wineglasses,
A feast for Kingly masses,
And I stepped forward,
Hesitant to interfere,
With the divine affair,
That I heard pronounce my name.

"Welcome," one said,
Yet all three smiled,
The room with warmth piled,
As they called me child.
And I sat down with these three familiars,
Warming up to their charms -
Rosy, dried up cheeks,
Curious psyches.
Biting on yeast,
Digesting the familiarities,
Consuming creed,
Observing one in all three?

And then I realized,
That sitting with unwashed feet,
And dirty fingernails,
Was acceptable,
Almost crucial,
To my being invited,
Into this Holy social circle,
Of lifelong contentment.

(2004) by:Ana Saravolac

you know what hit me as i read it? how much other things catch my eye, when the best thing is RIGHT infront of me. how do i turn a blind eye to God's amazing love. and focus on things that truely do not matter? i think that was one of my most embarassing moments... and for those of you that REALLY know me... i dun really get embarassed.. cuz if i do something stupid.. i'd laugh first at it.. or just shake my head at myself for being so dumb. but yeah... if you wanna know one of my most embarassing moments? just knowing that God wants something better for me, but im too distracted by other things to pay attention to him. *sigh* what an isolent child i am.

God came and paid for all of our sins, mine included. He died a painful death, so that we can be with him. He watched those he love scorn him. He was whipped by those that he cared for. He was shamed by those he chose to call his family. its like that song:

How deep the Father?s love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

i guess that song just sums up what i had to say.. but yeah.. if you wanna read more awsome poems by ana, go to here. http://www.postpoems.com/members/dieheiligedichterine/ or click RITE here. ^.~

anyways.. one other thing i wanted to say. ignore the p.s. business because the person just isnt understanding... so i guess i gotta find another way other then then method 1, being telling them straight out to back off, and method 2, dropping mad hints about it.. like MAAADDDD.... *sigh* thanx joel... but i dun think even a parking lot discussion could work on this one... SOO dense.. like what more do you need to know!? what more can i do to tell you to back off and leave me be??? *sigh* why is life hard???...wait.. dont answer that... cuz i know why it is for me. but its one of those, its for me to know, and you not to know things. *sigh*

oks.. i think thats all i had to say today.. minus the OWWW.. but yeah... oh wells... meh.. it'll get looked at later. yes? haha. rite. and DONT walk in the cold for like 2 hrs.. cuz yeah... you get wind bitten or whatever and then EVERYONE asks you stuff that you probably should kow about.. but you dont... like why your cheeks are soo warm and soo red?? haha.. oks. time for me to shut up. *zip* *angelic smile* SHUSH! haha