world.. why does it hurt so much?
why do i want something i know wont happen? and that i know i cant have?
why do i miss something i know i cant miss, cuz i cant be missing some thing thats "still around"
why am i so exausted, when i havent done anything to BE exausted?
why do i feel lost when i know where i am?
why do i feel forgotten, when perhaps, im not?
why does a handful of people's actions mean the world to me?
why do i want to cry when theres nothing worth crying for?
why is my heart broken when theres nothing to break it with?

these questions are whats running through my mind. well... not just today i suppose.. but today, i found the words to ask the questions. like the song Sustained, "looking for answers, to questions i dont even have". well.. i finally have these questions.

i was talking to a bunch of people today, and someone, one of them spoke up and said:

"all my negative thoughts trace back to two questions:
--> why am i still single
--> why am i (the way i am)?"

i dunno where those questions up there boil down to... but what i know is true is that, no matter where i am, or what crap gets thrown at me, or in my path, it wont stop me. it cant. it has no powers.

to hurt and to have no cure is starting to be more then i can deal with and take. to miss someone because they just dont have time for you is the worst hurt of them all. funny how they wont realize it eh? funny how easy it is to be laughing on the outside and just hurt soo much on the inside. funny to smile to the world but to cry silent tears that no one else knows of...funny how easy all of this is.